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There, I said it. Not all alpha male characters are assholes. I mean, don’t get me wrong I love a good asshole especially when he is an ass to everyone else but the woman he is in love with.

That’s the appeal isn’t, having him love you/the heroine and no one else. Or the fact that a woman changed the hero to be less of an ass than he is accustomed to being.

However, for a second I had to wonder a bit of the psychology of the mind of a female reader. Are we giving a thumbs up to the man that can be downright mean and hurtful to most people? Do we want a hero to be like that? Or have we forgotten what an alpha male is?

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When we think of the term Alpha Male, we think of someone who is the most dominant, strong, rich, a leader of men. Over time, the assertiveness of the alpha male is overshadowed by his aggression. He is now loud, sometimes sadistic, mean even threatening. His ambitions are ego-fueled, he is straight forward and confrontational. He is even the ever-popular playboy or manwhore of the group of men. He is a downright mean possessive pig. OH MY GOD KT HE IS SEXY!

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In fact, from this type of Alpha male, a new genre of romance has been born. Brace yourself for this. “BULLY ROMANCE!”

I heard it some weeks ago at a convention. My brain went “WTF?” Here I am telling my baby cousin over the phone that a bully is never a nice person and he should cut it out. Then I hear women of 2019 now find Bully Romance to be the new sexy. Women find it sexy when a man hurts them or he is mean and he comes back and loves them and they live happily ever after.

I read one book that is now, a movie I am not calling any names. By the first three chapters, I wanted to call the writer and say why? Why? Why is he so possessive? Why is he so mean? Why do women find this sexy?

I tell you this, take away the billion/million-dollar factor and put the hero in a trailer park, with sweaty armpits and an ugly mug, the reader’s mind will change. HAHA! He will no longer be the sexy hero. Oh no, he will be the smelly villain. So, does money make an alpha male sex?

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I don’t want to go into the whole research on animals and the creation of the phrase “Alpha Male.” I don’t have that much time honestly. Google it though. You will be amazed by what you learn.

I will say an alpha male can be quiet and sexy. In fact, to me, they are the best. I married one. They don’t talk much, nor are they mean. However, when they do talk, baby you will pay attention. Their dominance is not loud, but every male or man in the room with them will know what’s up. He is fierce and protective when the need arises. Oh, and he is darn right great in bed too. This alpha is not perfect, but he is a good and honorable man. You know that man that women want to screw, and men want to be like. He is not an asshole, but he is witty and smart. Hmm like James Bond. Wait, he is an ass, cancel that example. Moving on.


An alpha can have such qualities/ traits:

Dreamer – he can be proactive and future-focused. He sees what other men don’t see, like the opportunity to start a new business. Be successful in that same business and motivate others to do the same.

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Tactician – He is smart, he thinks about his next move. He excels in critical thinking and problem-solving.

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Doer – I know I could have written “Initiator” but I like the word “DOER” more. An alpha who gets shit done. Period. He overcomes obstacles because he is disciplined. He is a goal-oriented. He defies all odds. He is a doer.

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Leader – He is the one in charge and is in front leading the way. Strength is not measured by mean asshole ways, rather by leadership and action. There are many kings and presidents of the past who were great leaders. I am sure can think of a few. However, not all were assholes, some were kind, sweet and endearing. See! Did the above qualities make you think an asshole or a manwhore? Nope. Now don’t get me wrong. I love a good asshole book. Hell, I have a couple of favorites. My fear is as a woman, as a reader is: Are we being conditioned to think that being treated like crap is ok. Especially if the man has money? Is that the culture that we are settling for?

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I don’t wanna get all serious, but I just had to say that there is more to an Alpha Male, than what meets the eye.



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I promise to be light and fun next week. I may talk about dick sizes and do they count in romance novels?

Till Next Week



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